Hello Parker Press readers! Welcome back to Parker Press' advice column: Ask a Friend. We have created this advice column with the intention to foster a designated safe space for peers to be open about things they might be struggling with or have questions about and give each another guidance. The floor is always open to anyone who is seeking advice! Every posting, Parker Press staff respond to questions they receive under their personal pen names.
HOW TO SUBMIT
Anyone can submit questions via this form or dm us directly. There are flyers with QR codes around the school that you can use to anonymously submit questions. You can sign your questions with your actual name, your initials, or a pen name---it's completely up to you.
Disclaimer: Advice from Parker Press is given by students on the Parker Press staff and is by no means a professional opinion. While every contributor has the best intentions, please take any advice given with a grain of salt, as every situation is very unique to each individual. Please keep questions school appropriate. Parker Press is by no means obligated to respond to questions that fall outside of these perimeters or are a violation someone's privacy. We hope you enjoy!
I always keep forgiving people who are mean to me, or use me for this or that. It makes me feel miserable.
- Too Forgiving
Hello Too Forgiving,
I am so sorry you are stuck in a cycle where people are mean and continue to use you. I am happy to hear that you recognize these toxic patterns in your friendships. Recognizing that change needs to happen is the first step to actually make it possible. Communicating your issues is super important so the other person(s) involved knows what they are doing wrong. This gives them a chance to reflect on and improve their behavior to hopefully stop this cycle. If you communicate your issues and nothing changes it's time to cut your losses and have some self respect. How this person(s) and relationship make you feel is most important. Do not waste your time with people who have routinely hurt you and have done nothing to change their actions. Create some distance between you and these so-called “friends" to spend time doing something enjoyable. Inconsiderate people hold you back from happiness and the possibility of finding new friends that will treat you right!
All in all, express your issues to people who treat you poorly in hopes of their behavior changing. If they don’t, create some distance for yourself and new friends. Good luck!
- Liz
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