Why does life mock me with the people I hurt? All I have ever wanted was someone to love and hold me; I wanted someone not to leave me… but it had to take them away from me. The strangers I met and the enemies I've made, the only company that they gave me, the embodiment of life, took it from me. What do you plan on doing when everything is gone!? Will you finally get bored and leave me alone!? Will you leave this place to bother another one!? Or will you think of new ways to torture me? I played by your rules; I woke up, cleaned my house, and enjoyed the rest of the day, living out the experience. What else do you expect me to do when you curse me for doing what you plan us to do… Make up your mind, or don't have a mind to think at all…
I covered my eyes and forced my mouth open; there wasn't any noise coming out. It was like struggling to breathe for me; all I could do was cry and watch as it kept tormenting me. "I guess you do have a word to say in this." The feeling of my voice being forgotten came back to me. I back away from the two figures; something about them; my gut senses danger, but my heart yearns to be close to them. "What's wrong, Arthur?" the lady spoke with a crooked smile. "Don't tell me you're afraid of your Mother…" the two laughed, sounding like distorted mockery. "Why are you scared of Mama? All she did was take care of you when Daddy lost his mind…" the child looked at me with a pitiful face. "You know how bad it was whenever he didn't get his daily supply of bottles.". I cover my ears. "No, no, no. He just lost his job that day… He just lost him-" "He lost himself that day." I looked at the child, and his smile became more twisted. "The rest is a blur, hiding between each gap you push through." I turn back around and pace myself; what situation have I put myself in? Why does this seem so familiar, these faces, the voices, the words they repeat; it feels like a reencountered memory. "Stare at us closely, Arthur… Don't be afraid to hide what you were made to forget,". "No, I will not face you, I will not look into your eyes and feel the need to be weak, I will stand away and forget you existed!" the two chuckled. "Are you ashamed to face confrontation? Or is it because you are afraid to cry when you see something you never wanted to see?" I groan in frustration. "FINE!" I turn around and stare at them. "I am facing you! WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!?". The two stood silent and straight; it was like the moment I turned, everything was just my imagination, like I'd been hallucinating. "YOU TALKED TO ME EARLIER! NOW YOU FREEZE AND IGNORE ME NOW!?" I scream as I punch the floor. "WHEN I LISTEN, YOU JUST LET ME DEAL WITH A PROBLEM ALONE!?". My eyes began to swell up with tears; I quickly wiped them away. "Why show me this and leave me stuck behind a wall I cannot understand to break open?". I stand up. "I'm gonna find a way out, and don't follow me, stupid mockery-." I walk around to find a door; with all these colors, it seems like everything is the same. I feel around the walls and knock; there is nothing but the same sound. "There has to be an exit somewhere, but where would it be?". I started to think that there should be a door; this place cannot be something without its own exit. I felt the room start to move beneath me. I looked back around, and the walls began to spiral in. Soon, a rectangle outline was right before me, and a door handle with a single keyhole appeared.
My eyes widened; how did this happen? How did- Wait, this is my mind…. I walk towards the door and feel it; it's real. My hands can feel the outline of the wood and cold metal knob. It is real… I begin to cry. Oh my god… I can… Finally leave. I can be free- I can- I open the door, and I can see the sun- darkness. "What?" my heart drops as I close the door and open it again. "No, no. I thought-". I close my eyes and try to imagine something; nothing can shift, and the ground doesn't move. I opened my eyes again; nothing had changed. Did something really make me think that I could leave…? My breath quickens, and my heart thumps; I fall onto the ground as my hands grip the skin around my chest. "No, I cannot be stuck here forever; there has to be a way… There has to be a way to… leave." I look around again, and I try to think of something I can do that'll shape the room. But no, nothing happens, nothing works, and nothing comes to find me… "Please, let there be some sort of… escape,". A sudden feeling tingled on my face; I turned around and saw a shiny object on the kitchen table. "Hope you have found me!" I quickly sit up and run towards the object; my heart quickens as I stand near the table. The drool drips from my mouth like a rabid dog, my eyes dilated and my muscles tense. I quickly grab the object and hold it close to my face to see; it wasn't what I thought it was, nor a key or a hammer to smash my way out of this place… but something less thoughtful… a knife. Out of everything, they bring me more pain… But then it brings me to a realization: Is pain only worth escaping from what you're running from? Is this an explanation for the times that life has thrown me into rocks that pierced right through my heart? Will that allow me to build from the trauma and shelter myself more? Is this why pain is necessary for all of us to grow stronger?
Wake up,… a voice whispered into my ears. Let it set you free…. My body tensed up, and the hairs on my body raised. It won't take that long… Let the feeling of this gold blade pierce into your soulless heart,… the voice whispered again. Just one flash of pain, and it'll be over…. I felt hands gripping around mine. I quickly looked down to see a pair of ghostly hands, smaller than mine and feminine. I looked behind me, but the presence forced my head back forward. No, don't pay attention to what is behind you; focus on what's forward…. My hands were raised as my grip around the blade was tightened. Destroying what keeps you from moving on is the first step out of this… I tried to force my arms to stop, but no matter how much power I put into it, it only raised higher. The strain on my arms worsened; I could feel my grip on the handle being forced to tighten. I cried out in pain, "GOD DAMMIT, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME GO!?". There was no response, but the blade came closer to me. "NO, KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME!" I still couldn't push it away from me; its force was too strong. Give up on what keeps loving you… "Give up? GIVE UP WHAT LOVE!?" Once the main point of love is attacked, soon the person will suffer and wither… "WAIT! DON'T DO-" The blade quickly lodged into my chest, and the pressure I once felt around my arms quickly faded away. I backed away, my legs losing their stance as I walked into a cabinet. I fall onto my knees, hitting the ground hard with a thud. I clench the wound in my chest, my hands shaking around the blade. My breaths become ragged and uneven. "W-what did you do to me…?" my eyes begin to water. "W-what… WHAT DID YOU TO ME!?". I look around, my eyes darting all over the place as I bite my lip. "COME BACK HERE!". I sink into the floor, and the feeling of patheticness fills me. I'm gonna die here, and no one will know… I'll be forgotten. No-no, I won't be forgotten; I can't just… disappear into darkness; where will I see if all I see is nothing? Where will my soul go? Will I ever move freely again…? No, I will submit into this ragged memory and perish…
The pain in my chest surges again, a jolt of agony that causes me to gasp. "ARGH! J-just a reminder that I'm still alive… until I'm not." I manage to force a weak chuckle, though it feels shallow and strained. "What… a nice… joke." The words hang in the air as empty as my body crumples to the floor. Numbness spreads through every inch of me, and my vision begins to fade- everything around me is blurred. No… not now! Not now, please! Not this way, I beg mutely, willing myself to hang in there a little more. Stay open. Please stay open. Yet the strength wanes, and the heaviness of my eyelids is just too hard to raise back open. Before the darkness soon engulfs me completely, I see black boots walking towards me, the leathery sound against the cold floor. A shadow falls over me as this figure kneels down, comforting and chilling all at once. Strong hands reach for my face, gently tilting my head, forcing me to meet their gaze even as my vision fades completely. Wake up, Arthur. You aren't supposed to go yet; your use isn't fulfilled yet… Arthur? Arthur…? W-
"WAKE UP ARTHUR!" I yell, shaking his body around. "WHAT DID YOU DO!? DID YOU SCREW AROUND WITH THE MEMORIES?" I slap his face, feeling desperation claw up my throat. "WAKE UP, BOY! You have some explaining to do!". I groan, irritation mixing with exhaustion. I drop him back onto the floor, "So, this is 'The Mourner Child'' He doesn't look all that sad to me," I scoff, pacing around his unconscious form. "Out of all its victims, the two wanted to pick you. So many good ones were brought to waste, and then you showed up.". I stop and cross my arms, glaring down at him. "Funny how they think that you're gonna be some good warrior for us. But really, you don't seem all that brave." I rub my temples, attempting to ease the tension in my head that has built up since this whole mess started. They could have taken their pick- someone strong, someone with a little spark of hope. But no. They want a loser child who can't even save himself. "You look so pitiful," I murmur in disdain. "Did your parents want you, or did they leave you to choke alone in this world?" I let the words ring through the air, heavy as all my frustrations. I go into the back of my pants pocket out of curiosity. Pulling out a nice and neatly written letter. "When did this get here…?" I unfold it and begin to read:
To, ███████
You have been ordered to keep this human by your side and guard it with your life as if it is not just a possession but a treasure, something frail that has to be kept safe from the dark out there. Caress him as the last coal in the dying ember. It is coming, and it wants nothing but the boy's heart; his something it cannot create but can consume to grow more powerful, more monstrous. The love that beats in his chest is the key to something unspeakable, something that will twist him beyond recognition. We don't even know how many hearts it has already devoured, how many souls it has consumed in its insatiable hunger. Each victim leaves behind only remnants, broken bodies with hollow eyes as if the creature siphons away not only life but even the very essence of what it means to be human. It feeds and, with every kill, grows stronger. What remains of him will be nothing more than a shell, a puppet strung by its insidious will. If it reaches the boy, if it even touches him, everything you know, everything you care about, will disappear. You'll be torn apart, slowly, in agony, by its wrath. The love of the boy will be the weapon, the key to ultimate destruction for the creature. If it takes even the tiniest part of him if it gets but a drop of that warmth, it will be the end of us all. The boy is not to be lost. If you fail in this, you let your guard down for a moment, but you will be the first to feel its hunger. You will be the first to suffer. Protect him. Keep him safe. Or we will all pay the price. And trust me, the creature will show no mercy…
From, The Lovers…
Are these extra words supposed to make me feel scared? I know what's going on; they don't need to remind me. Sigh… It's time for some babysitting; sadly, I wish I was getting paid to do this… I picked up Arthur, hosting him over my shoulder and holding him by his waist tightly. "Now, how do we get out of here?" I walk towards the door and open it. "Nope, just a void of darkness," I look around; how did you end up here in the first place? I looked above me, ripples and reflections that looked like a pool of water above me. Why didn't he think about this? Unless… something was stopping him. "I'd like to research how you think, small child.". I leap into the pool above us and swim through. My body feels like it is in space, spinning around as my strength doesn't seem to matter here. I tighten my grip around Arthur, making sure not to lose him while I try to navigate this mess. "How will I wake you up? Cause this blade didn't do the trick," I yell in frustration. "Will I have to slap the hell outta you or splash ice water down your back!?". I keep swimming through the void, but nothing seems out of the ordinary to help me. So, his mind collapsed? Is that what I'm getting? The reason that there is no exit is because his mind got rid of one!? GOD DAMMIT, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO ARTHUR!? I stop swimming, and I float, rubbing my head to get my thoughts under control. Come on, think! How can you fix this!? Then it hits me: OH MY GOD! I HAVE TO FIX HIM MYSELF! I groan in frustration. "The things I do for people! This better be worth it!". I let go of Arthur; his body slowly floats away from me. But I don't really care; this isn't his physical body anyway, only his soul. "Okay, it's like a puzzle. The Main parts are complete, and the weird ones get thrown." I start swimming again, looking for pieces. But nothing seems to stand out; everything is just a black void with no light and no shine. Just an eternal nothing. I look behind me, trying to find the memory I came out of. It's gone, but how has it disappeared so quickly? Unless… Are these walls hiding away the memories? Hiding away important ones, hiding away… lovely memories. Then it hits me: has the monster already infected part of Arthur? "Oh god, OH, I AM SO DEAD!" I freaked out, frantically swimming back to where I had left Arthur. "That blade wasn't put in you to scare you; IT WAS FOR THE MONSTER TO ACCESS YOUR HEART EASILY!" I cursed myself in my mind. The two who'd hired me were definitely really pissed when they found out --one would surely kill me on the spot, and the other, I wasn't so sure about making it out of that conversation alive either. Suddenly, I heard a terrifying sound-cracking, louder and louder, until it felt like the walls themselves were screaming in agony. "What the hell is that sound?!" I spun around, wide-eyed in panic. The crack above us was wide enough to let in a faint ray of light. It was growing by the second, becoming more desperate. The thudding noise was relentless now: something big, something powerful was on the other side. "What the—?" I barely got the words out before a massive face shattered through the cracks. A horrible screech echoed as its arms tore through the darkness, pulling itself into our world. It was here. It had found us. "Arthur. it's here." My voice shook with dread. "I am so screwed when I get home." I grabbed Arthur, my panic rising as I tried to swim with him. The monster's screams were deafening now, almost close enough to feel its breath on my neck. Its voice sounded ravenous-hungry, desperate to catch us. "COME ON, COME ON! SWIM FASTER, BALLET LEGS!" I yelled, my voice sharp with urgency. "JESUS CHRIST!" I kicked harder in a desperate attempt to push through, but my body felt like it was moving through molasses. My arm flailed, trying to make any progress, but no matter how hard I swung, I felt like I was stuck in slow motion. The monster's screams became much louder and closer. I felt like each second I moved, it came closer every second.
I could risk it, leave Arthur behind, and try to find a way out. Or I could take his soul with me, risking the monster catching up even faster. But there was one thing I knew for sure—I couldn't damage him. Not now, not ever. I glanced over my shoulder, the dark shape of the monster crawling toward us at a terrifying speed. Its eyes gleamed, hungry, desperate. The realization hit me: I didn't have time to think this through. "Arthur, go back and wake up. Find my body in the forest," I said, my voice shaking yet firm. I looked down at his unconscious face, his features still soft, untouched by the chaos around us. With a final desperate decision, I threw him toward the wall, watching in a blur as his body disappeared into the shadows. "He has a chance…". But as the words left my mouth, I heard the unmistakable sound of claws scraping against the walls. Before I could react, they were around me—huge, sharp, and unforgiving. One moment, I was standing, barely able to catch my breath, and the next, I was being yanked off the ground. I whipped upward, a rag doll-like swing, the pressure closing tighter around my waist-the claws digging deep, driving the air from my lungs. I gasped as I tried to fight this crushing grip, but the more I struggled, it was like my body being clutched in some gigantic predator's jaws: pain that made it just that much harder to even think, harder to breathe. I couldn't think; I couldn't focus on anything other than the suffocating grip that tightened around me. This was it. This was how I was going to die. I looked into its eyes, and all I could see was hunger and despair. Not even a single light was in its eyes, just emptiness. "So, why didn't you go after the boy, huh!? Lazy because he got away from you quickly?" I question, my expression hardening. It didn't respond but cocked its head. Mocking me as it leaned its face closer. "ANSWER ME! Are you scared to answer because it's the truth!? Or is it because you don't even know what you do-". It quickly pierced its claws into my head; I screamed in agony as it felt like it was tearing off my own face. "LET GO OFF ME!" I scream as I try to squirm out of its grasp. I arch my back as it forces its claws through more. "WHAT ARE YOU DO-" my vision soon flashed white, and it took over everything I saw. All I could see was a white void, but I could still feel the pain in my head. I couldn't speak, nor could I hear. Where was I? Am I dead? Or am I between life and death?
I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't seem to notice something… Colors spread around continuously, like Christmas lights strung up on the house. It was blinding, but there was something addicting about it. The brilliant flashes seemed to pulse with an energy that pulled me deeper, wrapping me in a strange comfort. But then it shifted. It wasn't just a scattering of tiny specs anymore; the lights grew larger, swirling and twisting. Movement. Patterns. A blur of shifting tones that made my head spin. What was it doing? It's—flooding my mind. Memories. Unpleasant ones. Ones I would do anything to forget. Faces, voices, places... moments that haunted me like ghosts, uninvited and relentless. I tried to shield myself from them, but they pushed through, crashing into me and filling every corner of my mind. The weight of each recollection threatened to suffocate me. A sharp burst of color shot toward me, a bullet of light too bright to bear. And then, without warning, I snapped back awake. I gasped, my chest heaving, catching my breath as if I had been underwater for too long. My heart pounded in my ribcage. No, no, no... Why can't I hold myself? Why can't I move!? Why am I enclosed? My limbs felt frozen, heavy, useless. Panic surged through me. I tried to move, to push myself up, but nothing responded. The silence of the room pressed in on me, suffocating. I could only hear my own frantic thoughts, louder than anything else. I looked around, my eyes wide with fear. My heart dropped, cold dread seizing my chest as I realized where I was. The walls were familiar, too familiar. The sterile white, the dim lighting—this was the padded cell. The same one I had been placed in when I first came here. The same one I had tried so desperately to escape from. The walls seemed to close in now, tighter than before, mocking me with their unyielding embrace. My chest tightened, my breathing shallow and uneven. I could feel the weight of the walls pressing down on me as though they were closing in, suffocating me. The air felt thick, like it was being sucked out of the room, and my skin prickled with heat, clawing at me from all directions. I wanted to scream, but the words were lodged in my throat, trapped behind the panic. Every inch of the room seemed to shrink. The walls loomed closer, the ceiling seemed to drop, and the floor— was it moving?—it felt like it was pulling me in, swallowing me whole. I could feel the space closing around me like a vise, crushing my chest, squeezing the life out of me. The narrowness of it, the isolation, the unrelenting confinement. There was no escape, no refuge from its crushing weight. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't get out. The thought looped in my mind, frantic and endless. I was suffocating, drowning in the space that should've been a refuge but instead felt like a tomb. My vision blurred, and the edges of the room distorted, as if it, too, were bending under the pressure. I thrashed, pushing against the walls, my movements jerky, uncoordinated. It was like being trapped in a box, suffocated by its very presence, its impenetrable silence. The light above flickered, casting shadows that seemed to stretch and stretch, becoming too large, too consuming, until it felt like the entire room would collapse on top of me. I could feel the walls pressing inward with every beat of my heart. No, no, no, please no… The sensation of being enclosed, of being utterly alone, overwhelmed every inch of me. My body trembled with fear, my legs stiff with the inability to run. Every instinct screamed at me to escape, but there was nowhere to go. No way out.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" I yelled, finally managing to say something. I could feel everything freely now; the pressure was gone, but the silence was killing me. I turned around; I was surrounded by endless darkness. "SHOW YOURSELF!" my voice echoed. "You showed me that to mock me, didn't you!?". My voice was filled with anger and annoyance. I walked around, but I felt as if I were stuck in one place. "What have you put me in a labyrinth!? Making me go insane by walking?" I look around. "COME ON! Is this all you can do!?". No, but I like to annoy you this way,… a voice echoed in my head. If I annoy you to the point of submission, then I'd be satisfied… "What do you want from me!?" I question. "You can't just keep doing those because you have nothing to do!". Ever since you got hands on that boy, it was like talking to a wall… You let your angelic disgusting god hands onto my feast and made it dirty! Now I have to clean and prep it again! Its voice rang in my ears. You angel people! Always running my plans because it doesn't go well with your purity! "First of all, what you're doing will kill all of humankind. Do you have any idea how bad that is!?" the voice chuckled. The people I choose to feast on are horrible, disgusting fools. But you know what? God lets them walk free while they ruin the woman and children. Do you think that others want to think about that when they go to sleep? "God forgives them all; their sins have all withered away," the voice scoffs, Oh shut up! Sins!? You can't erase what has been done! "People fix their mistakes!" You cannot fix the damage that has been done. Fixing something only covers and doesn't hide. "You speak with a poem; how am I supposed to understand you!?" the voice didn't respond. Did it leave? Was it too tiring to speak with me? "Listen, you freak! I don't care what your motive is, but the things you choose to do to spread your word are too much!" I walk around shouting, "You think by being death itself and slaughtering the 'wronged' people is gonna do good!? The world will become imbalanced!". I stop walking and look up. "Killing and torture isn't gonna do anyone a favor, you disgusting f-" THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE WRONGED OTHERS AND ME WILL GET HELL BROUGHT TO THEM PERSONALLY. I don't care what horrid things I do; as long as the person suffers the worst, then I will be satisfied! The voice roars through the void; I will break, snap, and tear them apart. I will put them through endless amounts of torture till they get to their breaking point and submit to their wrongs. Only then will the world be a better place without liars and pigs like them… I tense up. "Why won't you let them understand their actions without pain!? Is that the only way they can understand? THROUGH AGONIZING DEATH!?" the voice chuckles. Only one will learn through force…
Suddenly, a ringing shot through my ears. I held my head as I fell down, holding my body close to comfort my pain. My visions flashed with images of those memories I wanted to forget. I screamed in pain with each passing second, tears streaming down my face. It felt like my skin was on fire. "N-no, don't make me remember that! PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST DON'T SHOW ME THAT!" my voice felt strained; I had a feeling that my screams couldn't reach its ears. Now you submit to me right An- "DON'T CALL ME BY THAT NAME! It's Silos now and it will always be Silos!". Funny how you reject the name God granted you with and you replace it with something… human. Are you trying to make a new life on this Earth? Or are you just hiding Who? You. Really. Are? "No! I'm being true to myself! The actions I do are by God and his word alone! If I were to go my own route, kill me with a burning dagger!". Liar… You disappoint me. One of God's own, lying about the TRUTH. Before I could object, I felt an object pierce through my heart, and my vision faded into darkness.
Now I have a new puppet for my feast…
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