Advice from La Llorona
By Deborah A. Miranda
—a found poem
Each grief has its unique side.
Choose the one that appeals to you.
Go gently.
Your body needs energy to repair the amputation.
Humor phantom pain.
Your brain cells are soaked with salt;
connections fail unexpectedly and often.
Ask for help.
Accept help.
Read your grief like the daily newspaper:
headlines may have information you need.
Scream. Drop-kick the garbage can across the street.
Don’t feel guilty if you have a good time.
Don’t act as if you haven’t been hit by a Mack Truck.
Do things a little differently
but don’t make a lot of changes.
Revel in contradiction.
Talk to the person who died.
Give her a piece of your mind.
Try to touch someone at least once a day.
Approach grief with determination.
Pretend the finish line doesn’t keep receding.
Lean into the pain.
You can’t outrun it.
Advice From La Llorona is one of my favorite poems. I used it as one of my poems when I went to Oahu for Poetry Out Loud because this poem speaks to me. What I mean by that is when I found the poem it was instantly interesting because of my prior knowledge of La Llorona’s legends. La Llorona translates to weeping woman. There are many variations of her story but one of the main ones I have heard goes as such: La Llorona has two children and a husband, all of whom she loves dearly. Though the husband leaves their village many weeks or months at a time. When he is home, however, he is only spending time with their children. La Llorona gets wind of a tale about her husband having an affair with another woman while he is away. Blinded with rage she takes her anger out on the people who remind her of him, the people who take all of his attention; her children. La Llorona takes her screaming, struggling children to the river near their village and drowns them. Quickly afterwards she realizes the horrific thing she has done. To be with her children again she kills herself in that same river. She wakes up expecting to be with her children only to find she is at the river alone. Her children made it to heaven, and she is trapped as a vengeful spirit on earth. Now she roams the mortal plane, finding children who do not respect their parents and drowning them so she can fill the holes she created by killing her own children. Legends say if you hear her crying, it is already too late.
Though this specific story does not relate to my own life, the message does. La Llorona does not sit with her grief, instead, she patches tape on it and hopes it works temporarily. She is stuck like that for all eternity. So I ask anyone who reads this poem or folktale to learn from La Llorona’s mistakes and move through your grief instead of ignoring it.
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